And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
