just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
