i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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