um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
