I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
