They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
