why didn't you poke me back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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