my phone needs a breathalizer
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
