i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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