just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
