that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
