I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
