My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
