they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
