Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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