I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
