Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
