those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
