I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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