What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
