haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
