3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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