it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i love accidental penises.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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