This is not my ceiling
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
