I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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