Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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