Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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