Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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