Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
