Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
