I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
