My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh god was she eating orange peels again
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
