i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
