DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
