You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
