i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
