nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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