that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
