wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
