I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
