Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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