i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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