I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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