We're facebook friends in real life
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they're like a gay fantastic four
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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