and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
