Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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