Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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