belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
