Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
