yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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